Auditions for Drinking Habits

By Tom Smith

Directed by Mark Hull

Genre: Farce / Comedy
Cast Size: 8 (4 women, 4 men)
Style: Fast-paced physical comedy, mistaken identities, quick entrances/exits, and heightened characters

Synopsis:
In this classic-style farce, two undercover reporters try to expose a secret wine-making operation at a convent. But the nuns are smarter than they look—and the tangled web of deception, romance, and hidden identities quickly spins out of control. Think Noises Off meets Sister Act.

Character Breakdown:

• Sister Philomena – (30s–60s) Nervous and jumpy nun trying to keep the wine-making a secret. Comedic timing and physical humor a must.
• Sister Augusta – (30s–60s) Confident, sarcastic, and the mastermind of the wine operation. A dry wit and deadpan delivery will shine.
• Mother Superior – (50s+) Stern and traditional on the surface, but easily flustered. A great straight-woman role surrounded by chaos.
• Sister Mary Catherine – (20s–30s) A novice nun who may or may not have taken a vow of silence. Sweet, wide-eyed, and innocent (but not dumb).
• Paul – (20s–30s) A well-meaning young man trying to reunite with his long-lost love. Earnest, idealistic, and increasingly confused.
• Sally – (20s–30s) A determined reporter pretending to be a nun. Smart, quick-witted, and undercover.
• George – (40s–60s) A bumbling, over-the-top spy-turned-priest (sort of). Physical comedy and confusion are his domain.
• Father Chenille – (40s–70s) The real priest. Calm, collected, and completely oblivious to most of the madness. Dry delivery is key.